Improving sentences

NUST NET English · English · Grammar and usage. The idea in plain words, the rules to remember, the mistake to avoid and a worked example, written and checked by Mega Lecture.

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The idea

You are given a sentence and four versions of it, and must choose the best one. The best version is correct first, then clear, then short. Never choose a version just because it sounds formal or is longer.

Start by naming the fault in the original. The usual ones are a fragment (not a complete sentence), a run-on or comma splice (two sentences wrongly joined), a describing phrase attached to the wrong noun, wrong punctuation, and wasted words.

Then eliminate. Cross out every option that keeps the fault or adds a new one. If two options are both correct, take the one that says the same thing in fewer words without changing the meaning.

Rules to remember

A complete sentence has a subject and a finite verb and can stand alone. A clause beginning 'although', 'because' or 'when' cannot stand alone.
Two complete sentences cannot be joined by a comma alone or by nothing. Use a full stop, a semicolon, a comma + and / but / so, or make one part a dependent clause.
'However' and 'therefore' are not joining words: write '; however,' or start a new sentence.
An opening phrase with -ing or -ed must describe the subject that comes straight after the comma.
A colon introduces a list or an explanation after a complete statement; a semicolon joins two complete sentences.
its = belonging to it; it's = it is. One owner: factory's. Several owners: factories'.
Cut repeated ideas: 'the reason is because', 'return back', 'and so therefore', 'collaborate together'.

Common mistake

Students fix a comma splice by adding 'however' after the comma, which leaves two sentences joined by a comma. Test each side of the join: if both can stand alone, a comma is not enough.

Worked example

Choose the best version of this sentence:
The generator was repaired on Monday, however it failed again two days later.
A. The generator was repaired on Monday, however, it failed again two days later.
B. The generator was repaired on Monday; however, it failed again two days later.
C. The generator was repaired on Monday however it failed again two days later.
D. The generator being repaired on Monday, however failing again two days later.

Name the fault: 'The generator was repaired on Monday' and 'it failed again two days later' are both complete sentences, joined only by a comma.
A adds a comma after 'however' but still joins two sentences with a comma. C removes all punctuation and is a run-on.
D has no finite verb ('being', 'failing'), so it is a fragment.
B puts a semicolon between the two sentences and a comma after 'however', which is correct.

Answer: B. The generator was repaired on Monday; however, it failed again two days later.

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