Carbon always forms four bonds, but it can mix its orbitals in three ways. You find the hybridisation of a carbon atom by looking at its bonds: only single bonds means sp3, one double bond means sp2, and one triple bond (or two double bonds) means sp.
Organic reactions start when a covalent bond breaks. In homolytic fission each atom keeps one electron, so two free radicals form. In heterolytic fission one atom takes both electrons, so a positive ion and a negative ion form.
The species that attack are named by what they look for. An electrophile accepts an electron pair. A nucleophile donates an electron pair.